I can’t be the only woman who have dated a grown man dealing with the arrested develop his inner child. The frustration of it all when that young boy surfaces and displays such childish behavior is overwhelming. I feel like I need to blame someone for whatever caused that young boy not fully reach a level of maturity to sustain being called a man. I question should I blame society, or should I blame his mother or father?
Do mothers coddle their sons to a point where they begin to believe all women are supposed to do the same thing? I believe all woman have an instinct to nurture however, a man of a certain age should not still expect to be nurtured like his mommy did with him. This may sound hypocritical, but my father always told me that if a man can’t treat me the way that he treats me then I don’t need that man. I do not believe this statement should apply to a boy child with regards to his mother. I believe a mother should teach her son the basic of being with a woman, simply because she is a woman first. She should teach her son that telling a woman she is beautiful or that she looks nice in an outfit will in no way make him soft. If he is in Walmart and walk past the cards section, that it will be okay to buy a card just because you were thinking of her and know that it will not make him appear weak. These are simple things that a woman before becoming a mother would have appreciated.
On the flip side of that is the father’s responsibility. Some would say only a man can teach a boy to be a man. I say, if a man can’t teach a boy the basic of being with a woman beside how to put on a condom, then he is failing that young boy. A real man will teach a boy how to make love to a woman’s mind and not just her body. A real man will teach his son that his manhood is not dependent upon the number is sex buddies he has acquired on the road to becoming a man. On some level I give fathers a curve because if they weren’t taught the basics then they can’t teach the basics.
At the end of the day, I know that it is not fair for me as a grown woman to have to finish raising another woman’s boy child. Why am I tasked with the duties of teaching him the basics of how to treat a woman? What I have come to except is that I love the potential in my man after I teach the boy in him the basics. But Lord, there are days that I want to take a switch to that boys behind. I love my man but some days I hate the boy in him.
